Time to give this poor, dusty journal some attention. What began as an attempt to prompt myself into more thoughtful, albeit satirical writing has come to a total stand still.

What happened? 

I'm going to go with body snatchers.

This is far more glamorous than the truth. *coughreallifecough* Well, NaNo is coming up this year, we'll start there. It is officially *glances at the time* October 16th and I have not settled on a solid story idea yet. But don't be troubled -- this is pretty on par with the spirit of National Novel Writing Month. It tends to be more about attacking a word processor without mercy or regard for sleep, nutrition or sanity than the production of something a publisher gush over. As the NaNo people say: Worry not! Editing is what December is for!

Well the participants of NaNo know that is a lie. December is for catching up on all the sleep you lost in November and recovering from your recent brain-purge. Likely you will look at your novel with the objectivity of one of those mother's with 10 "My Child is a RISING STAR at __________ Elementary" bumper stickers plastered on the back door of her mini-van.

For about a month, we think we're Michelangelo for finishing a novel - a whole novel! - in a month.

However when January rolls around and we get to actually reading the 50,000 words we poured our hearts and souls into... the grimacing begins. Sometimes it gets downright funny. You'll be able to pinpoint exact locations where your blood-caffeine level was somewhere around 2.05.

That said: Do not be discouraged (personal pep talk time)! NaNo novels are still made of awesome. And the beauty is (in theory) -- the more you set these kinds of goals for yourself, the better you become. It's almost like being a _real_ writer, with _real_ deadlines. 

Which, come to think of it, explains a lot about writers and their overall lack of sanity and sleep.

I've decided this journal ought to return to what I made it for -- trying to improve my humor writing skillz. So I hath dusted them off and... er, they're still pretty dusty aktually.

Anyhow. I've been meaning to write this for a while. It could go on... and on and... well, you get the idea. The bottom line is --  I LOVE and am ADDICTED to the Anita Blake novels by Laurell K. Hamilton. Buy her stuff and laugh along, because really! I tell no lies.

With that, I give you...


5. Guns as phallic symbols. – Don’t deny it, Anita. The only reason you don’t need a man in your life is because of the comfort of that cross grip in your hand, with the elongated barreled, steel re-enforced… er, you get the idea.


4. Were-goo. After a certain point, it will be difficult to read through a Blake Book without a healthy description of the clear, viscous liquid that weres shed when they shift into their animal form. As far as I can tell, this liquid loosely equates to afterbirth. Ew.


3. Someone’s gleaming spine half (or all the way) ripped from their bodies. If you’re lucky, this gruesome scene will appear within the first five pages. We Blake fans, we love the gore! Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go have some night terrors…


2. Strange punctuation. Most notably when Jean-Claude appears. For some grammatical reason, all of his sentences must begin and end with ‘Ma Petite.’


1. Jean-Claude’s Nipple. Or if you’re lucky – both of them! I don’t know what it is, but Jean-Claude’s nipples are a show-stealer. Depending on the shirt he is wearing (which will be described in detail every time he changes it) and how transparent it is, there is almost always mention of undead nipple. In fact, I think his clothes may be sentient as they appear to purposely slide down his chest for the express purpose of flashing some skin!

With that said, there is a reason this is #1 on my list. Purr.

*ahem*

That whole Separation of Powers thing was a really good idea at  first. I just thought I'd let you know that it has sadly degraded into a finger pointing contest between the White House, Congress, the Senate and occasionally the Supreme Court.

Sorry to have to break the bad news.

Cheers,
~ Eve

Alright, so the going joke here is during the break, when I have but to work and do little else, I can never write. My creativity is sucked from my very soul, put into a tiny jar and returned to me when the semester starts.

Well, ladies and jellyspoons, that curse remains absolutely true. I got the GREATEST idea for a story today and I've already compiled a few pages of notes/outlines. It's perfect, as it works as a bridge from my NaNo story to the sequel I'm going to write for it. I think technically it will fall MOSTLY in the category of "Romantic Comedy" but with a twist. I don't think most romantic comedies have as much violence as my stories have so we shall see. Chick Lit, maybe? Say it isn't so!

Anyhow, so I thought I'd write a little blurb about this story to give my loyal readers (all three of you *snickers*) a preview of what will be sucking my soul out of my body for the next, probably, several months. Also, I wanted to test my blurb writing skills. I know authors never get to write their own blurbs, so I might as well do it while I can. *grins*

*ahem*





Also, on a random and totally unrelated note -- part of my inner child died a little bit yesterday as I realized I'm growing up. How do I know this, you ask? Because upon seeing a Super Human Thingie get run over by a car on TV, then get up and walk away I thought to myself as I watched the driver of the car's reaction,

"Lord. I'd hate to have to explain THAT to my insurance company."

Yes, indeed, my inner child is weeping. She didn't even know what insurance WAS at a certain point. Poor dear. *pats her*

...for a SLIDE SHOW!



I finally got around to resizing some pictures from my D.C. trip this December. The reason it took me so long probably has a lot to do with the fact Second Life is hoarding most of my remaining soul at the moment and it's hard to wander around doing much more than eat and sleep without that baby. Anyhow, slide show time, people!

Upon reflection, the trip was pretty awesome. I got to tour the White House and see lots of things I'd only previously only heard about. At the time, however, it was freezing, we got lost a handful of times and the train ride was like mobile torture. But hey! Luckily my brain has filtered most of that out and has replaced it with all the happy good times of D.C.! Hooray!

In all seriousness -- my dad was a great sport and I think we get along a little better for spending some more time with each other. He loves showing off the pictures I had printed for him and telling a slightly different story than what actually happened. See what I told you about that filtering stuff? ;) It was a great Christmas present and I'm hoping to talk him into perhaps a cruise next year. *G*

Hope y'all enjoyed the photos, and that they didn't keel your computer.

... For watching the Twilight Zone until 5am before I go to bed. I knew, I KNEW, that I would have some weird, messed up dreams if I watched four episodes in a row. I was right, just not in the way I thought I'd be.

So I had a dream that John Travolta's character from Pulp Fiction (which I've yet to see all the way through) came to the house I was sitting, tossed the place looking for something he didn't find and ate all the food in the refrigerator. o_O

Granted, I am sitting a house right now but to be fair, it wasn't the same house in the dream. Also, at some point in the dream I got talked into singlehandedly helping move someone from here to Arizona by a really cute foreign girl. This part of the dream is easier to figure out and probably has a lot to do with the random, unexpected text message last night from an estranged friend in Tucson.

So, to make a long story short, SciFi is having an all day long Twilight Zone marathon and as I'm cleaning house, I've got it on in the background. I'm officially addicted. o_O I forgot how much I LOVED this show! We need a modern day Twilight Zone, damn it.

*freaking dies*

Sometimes, commercials are worth it. Sometimes.

December 7th, 2007 -- The Golden Compass release date. I've been looking forward to this movie since the summer, when I finished His Dark Materials Trilogy. The trailers looked SO fantastic, the environment was perfect. I found myself thinking: isn't that normally the hard part when the whole rest of the story is already written for you? It looked like they captured Pullman's alternate universe perfectly! And they did! I have no complaints about the setting.

However, I digress. Allow me to start with the things I LOVED.

Dust.

The portrayal of dust was great. Pullman also doesn't really explain this concept until later, so I have no complaints about it being under developed.

The Alethiometer

Perfect. It was beautiful, the right size and adequately explained, I guess. What I loved most, absolutely LOVED was how they showed Lyra seeing the images in the Dust rather than deduction of the images given. I loved the shots going into the inside of the Alethiometer, the turning, the golden dust. Very nicely done.

The Daemons

HOW CUTE WERE THE DAEMONS?! They were simply adorable and they did an alright job of stressing the bond between human and daemon, although that is a hard thing to explain, especially in film format. I enjoyed the interaction with the actors -- I think they all did VERY well. Proof they're good actors (more on that later).

Death of a Daemon

I don't know about the rest of the audience, but I was always a little startled/hurt when the daemons dissolved into dust when their humans were killed. It was extremely powerful imagery and in my opinion, extremely well done.

Mrs. Coulter

Wow. I think a lot of people who hadn't read the book were confused about this character and the blocky nature of the film contributed to that but Nicole Kidman did a great job. I loved when she slapped her daemon and then reassured it that she'd never hurt him. I think that shows just how crazy she is -- which is an important fact. Also, the scene after she saves Lyra from the lab was great, picking up with her watching Lyra sleep. There's a lot going on with that character, I just wish they could have developed her (along with a lot of the cast) a little better. I absolutely LOVED when Lyra finds out she's her mother and totally tricks her. That's a great sign of Lyra's character that I don't feel they exploited enough.

So there you go -- the main highlights of the stuff I loved. Unfortunately, there's bad news, too.

Attack of the Random Exposition 

I realized, watching this movie, Pullman isn't really a dialog guy. I'd forgotten about that and unfortunately it saddled the screen writer with a LOT of exposition he had to deliver through either narrative at the beginning or, naturally, dialog. The narrative at the beginning was very reminiscent of the LotR beginning, which is cool. I can get behind that -- it's informative, it pulls you into the world... however -- and this is a big however -- they're really narrating for the third book.

Hear no evil, see no evil... you know the rest.

Pullman purposely makes Lyra an unlikeable little girl. Or at the very least, a devious, lying, competitive and sometimes cruel little girl. In the movie, her mean acts are done in the name of defense of others. How sweet! Similarly, the Head Master gets off scott free from his questionable acts in the book and Lord Asriel, what little screen time he has, is (by comparison, of course) much nicer in the movie. In contrast, the Magisterium is made out to be a little more evil and deliberate than they are in the books. Well, that is to say you find out the true scope of their desire for power in the later books but still -- with the softening of the other characters, it makes you wonder about the reasons for such a giant gap. I always thought Pullman enjoyed working in the gray area.

Seemingly Unprompted Lines

This is kind of an extension of the awkward exposition, however there didn't seem to be much real interaction between the characters. Sure, they were in the same frame together but it basically looked like everyone was doing exactly what they were meant to -- deliver lines. Only there were the sort you'd practice in the break room. By yourself. There was little to no chemistry between the characters -- not even Lyra and Roger, although trust me, they really tried to force it. Iorek seemed to say things at random, while being completely bipolar about his attitude towards people. "You want to ride ME? Well, okay, but it'll be faster without my armor!"

Random Appearance of Witches

I love the witches, but you can't just have them show up and fly away. Firstly, there's little time for explanation and any you DO fit in seems like useless, awkward information. While they do foreshadow some things in this movie ("Roger, I promise I'll save you if anything should happen to you, which it most assuredly will."), there is a general lack of significance of actions and the random appearance of characters definitely adds to this.

General Incoherence

This brings me to my favorite movie theater quote to date. However, so you understand, I went to the first showing of the day, which meant the theater was about 2/5 full of old people, plus me. I enjoyed the comment of, "Wow, this is as packed as I've ever see in!" from the old man next to me and my FAVORITE quote from the same man, "My... what a strange movie." This was near the end-ish and I can't help but wonder what the rest of the people were thinking, particularly if they hadn't read the books. With all the disjointed exposition and undeveloped character relationships, I really don't know how others are going to like this movie. I understand it's hard to go from book to movie, I really do, but something went really wrong in production. As I mentioned before, the actors did VERY well with their daemons, yet they couldn't seem to talk to each other with any real coherence. So we know the actors are decent, we've even got genuine British accents! So what went wrong? I really wish I knew. My best guess is somewhere in the writing of the screenplay and the general direction.

The Ending

God (ha!) help this trilogy if they decide to replace Will with Roger. That would be the worst pairing ever, to be honest. Aside from the fact the two characters had zero chemistry, Lyra needs someone who can stand up to her/protect her. Roger is not that. Not even a little bit. But considering they took out all references of Will's dad and gave an inspiring little speech at the end about how Roger and Lyra are going to set things right, I'm scared for the next two movies. If they'd cast Roger differently maybe I could go along with it, but it's too late for that. The next book picks up immediately after this one, so there's no hope of recasting anyone, unfortunately. Also, there's little real resolution at the end of this movie -- and true, there's none in the book, either. But the book at leaves leaves your mouth hanging open and soon after you find yourself scrambling for the next book to try to make sense of what happened. Mrs. Coulter is a no show, which I felt if they'd at least shown some interaction between she and Lord Asriel, it may have compelled more people to be interested in what was going to happen to this mutant little family.

Overall, the movie felt very awkward and blocky. I feel like it was hard to understand for other people and I feel like there was a lot of underdevelopment. I do understand how hard it is to go from book to movie and I think for the first time that I have personally seen, the writer's yearning to stick to the book has kind of ruined the movie. I don't think the actors were given much freedom to improvise which resulted in stocky delivery of lines and a general coldness for the characters.

I also think it was difficult for the producers to merge what seemed like a period movie with modern-ish technology. I had a very vague feeling they were trying to go for a Harry Potter theme -- especially with the projection at the beginning of the movie, the moving picture of a goofy guy waving at a camera. I don't know. For some reason that really bugged me.

And the parts they DID change, or may be planning to change could totally fuck with the entire series. I hope they're more careful in the next two movies, which I am still currently holding out hope for. Maybe I'll try to see it again, and maybe I'll warm up a little to it. But like I said -- there were parts I absolutely loved. I really did. But there were also a lot of problems. Here's hoping for improvement on the next two!

It would appear that, as a Christmas present, Jerry Bruckheimer allowed his 18-year-old film student nephew to direct the latest installment of CSI.

You’re probably asking yourself how I know this.

Answer: Simple deduction, dear Watson.

This episode of CSI featured awkwardly delivered lines, lack of continuity, a zoom-happy cameraman and weird, trippy, shakey foreplay scenes. This all screams first year film student. Loudly. Through a microphone.

Honestly, there was something deeply weird about this episode. Granted, the new season of CSI seems to be going for the theme of… well, different directing themes. They had the horror episode for Halloween, which was nice, then they try to hype up the whole Sarah/Grissom drama. Maybe discontinuity is what they’re stylistically going for, in which case – congrats! It’s working!

I actually saw the comerical preview for this episode and found myself giggling, proclaiming, “Yay!! BAD ACTING!!” Because apparently bad acting is hilarious to me now. Examples of bad acting in this episode include Nick’s,

“I care about you because you’re my FRIEND.”

While he was basically two inches away from Brown’s face. And, of course, my favorite, Brown screaming, “NOOOOOOOOOooOOOooooOOOOOOO!!” In a very Star Wars Obi-Wan way.

The director must be a big fan of Lucas. Which would explain a lot.

What really cracks me up is normally these actors are NOT bad. In fact, normally they’re excellent actors for television. So they must have had THIS talk before every scene;

Brown: Alright, so… one more time. What’s my motivation again?

New director: Well, I want you to pretend you’re a really, really bad actor.

Brown: … okay…

New Director: And then I need you to look really stoned.

Brown: …er…

New Director: And I’ll need you to also hold the position for an extra 30 seconds to allow for a really long, awkward zoom.

I suppose this is all just leading up to the season conclusion, as we certainly got no resolution in this episode. Just a good laugh. Which I suppose is all I can really ask of a television show anymore.

Where have all the Hollywood muses gone, I ask you? Tsk. Tsk.



Also, in a totally unrelated topic, I'd just like to take a moment to quote my father, whom I love very much...

"A good friend of mine once told me never to break more than one law at the same time."

God, where was this valuable advice when I was little?